Mac Miller’s ‘Swimming’ dives deep into his own internal conflict
“My regrets feel just like texts I shouldn’t send.” Is the very first line of Mac Miller’s fifth studio album Swimming. Swimming is a stream of consciousness that is self-aware, energetic, melancholy, and many other emotions all wrapped into one hip-hop, funky, bluesy album. The album depicts Mac as he was at this point of his life and is undoubtedly truthful and transparent.
The first track “Come Back to Earth” Is a self-aware conversation with himself in which he pleads that he comes back to Earth and finds a way out of his own head. He also states that he that the things that he won’t tell you, he might never even tell himself.
Right off the bat, Mac is bringing his internal struggle with mental health and most likely his addiction problems to the forefront for everyone to see. The song is paired with some very sad, soothing strings. And the music video showcases a cute little cartoon diver searching through the dark vast ocean. Mac continues his somber tone into the songs “Hurt Feelings” and “Perfecto.”
In these songs, Mac discusses his past relationship with Ariana Grande without specifically mentioning her. In “Hurt Feelings,” Mac raps about trying to figure it out and how he is not the same. And on Perfecto, he raps about how his relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was worth it. But at the same time, he is wondering, is it? He mixes the “is it” under the line “cuz it’s worth it” so when you hear it; you can hear his unsureness. He also states that “On the surface, I look so fly, but really I’m buggin buggin makin something out of nothin.” Mac is paranoid about his relationship and is unsure if continuing on being with Ariana is worth it. In the outro, the beat cuts out and Mac raps with little instrumental behind him. He raps about how he is kinda sorta out the door. “Bare feet running late her car started, even though the only thing she driving is a hard bargain.” One can assume that Ariana gave Mac an ultimatum to change himself for the better or she did not want to go on being a part of his life.
The tones in “Perfecto” and “Hurt Feelings” are somber, to say the least. Mac is sad that his relationship with Ariana did not work out, and he is having a hard time coming to terms with what went down. At the end of “Perfecto” when it seems that he and Arianna are through, he utters a sarcastic “Perfect.”
Mac uses this album as his sort of therapy to cope with the break-up. But despite these two songs super sad diameter, he also has some self-aware songs that encourage happiness and shaking off those sad feelings off.
“Ladders” and “2009” highlight Mac’s encouragement for himself to keep doing what he does best which is make music. “Now we gotta find a way, no matter how many miles it takes.” is a lyric from “Ladders.” He also proclaims moments after the main beat drop of the song “Well, I’ma, I’ma maintain, I’m stayin’ so high put the ladder all the way up til we touchin the sky.” Also in “2009” Mac talks about his growth as an artist and a person. He is comfortable in his own skin and his place in this world. “I ain’t askin’ “Why?” no more Oh, no, I take it if it’s mine, I don’t stay inside the lines It ain’t 2009 no more Yeah, I know what’s behind that door.”
What makes Mac so great as an artist, and what puts him up with the top MC’s in modern hip-hop, is his ability to change and morph his style and tone so effortlessly. The likes of Kanye West, XXXtentacion, Tyler the Creator, ASAP Rocky, Logic, Young Thug, and Trippie Redd, amongst others; all possess this ability to make their music listenable no matter what mood you're in. That is why you can find these artists on the top of the music world at the moment. These artists are the modern-day rock stars, selling out shows and using their platform to relate to and provide a voice for America's youth. These artists are all so music educated, that they can take things from all genre’s and time periods and incorporate it into their own music.
On top of that, Swimming was released at a time where being self-aware, depressed, and unsure, is at the forefront for popular hip-hop. Many of the albums over the course of 2018 that have been atop Billboards top 100, such as XXXtentacion “?” album Tyler the Creator’s “Flower Boy” and Juice WRLD’s “Goodbye and Good Riddance” recent success of questioning meaning, self-worth, and society has molded a new audience of listeners who appreciate artists’ transparency .
Unfortunately, Swimming was all in all too telling of where Mac was in his life. Now, after his Passing, the album serves as a sort of final state of mind of Mac before his eventual overdose. Mac Miller, as the charming, smiley, goofy extrovert he was, allowed his fans and listeners into his head before his eventual death.
His addictive tendencies are prevalent in the album, and those additive tendencies mixed with his search for meaning and a way to cope with his inner demons could have been the very things that killed him. However, it is those same things that make the album so raw, and truthful. And it is precisely that raw truthful feeling that should motivate those who haven’t listened to the album to do so. Listeners can come to appreciate Mac’s to cool for depression style, and the way he seems to brush off the bad and continue on. On the other hand, perhaps if Mac had taken is depression and substance abuse more seriously, he may still be alive.
Mac Miller’s Swimming encapsulates feelings of addiction, depression, self-worth, and internal conflict, in such a way that allowed Mac to reach a larger audience than his initial sound of upbeat frat raps. His memory will live on in his music, as well as all of the people he has touched throughout his life.
